Seriously, Ash

"Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils"

2009-10-18T20:42:00.006-06:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here. I'd very much like to blame it on a busy life, or some amazing event that took place, but I can't. Life is pretty much the same from where I left off last.

Work is good. I'm thankful that I have a job these days. I feel really bad for the people who call in every day that say their company just laid them off, or they went under. These are tough times, my friend. I personally don't see it, but you can definitely feel the affect of it just by watching the news or reading the paper.

I can't believe that I've been working where I've been for a year now. Okay, that's not entirely true. I started off as a temp on October 2, 2008 and got hired on full time on March 2, 2009. I'm sure that doesn't seem significant, but it's a huge deal for me. I think the longest I've ever held a job was 6-9 months. I think a lot has to do with my responsibilities now. I have a rent payment, utilities, a car payment, a cell phone payment and any medical things that come up for Mia or me. Being an adult is fun because you get to do whatever you want, when ever you want. But whatever you do, good or bad, holds a consequence. Unfortunately, everything I choose ultimately affects Mia. Once in a while, I'll look at my friends who are single without kids and I envy them. I envy their freedom to stay out until 2 am without having to arrange a sitter or are able to sleep off a hangover until 1 pm the next day. That envy melts away once I walk through the door from work and am welcomed by a squeal and a great big hug from my two year old.

Home life has been good. I've started to decorate the inside of the house with fall colored leaf garlands and decorative pumpkins. I've even decorated the front porch and around the door with the same garland. I bought to friendly looking scarecrows for the front of the house, too. I love this time of year. Our house smells like apples, cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla. That is the epitome of fall to me. The weather has started to cool down and the leaves on the trees are starting to change colors and blow off the branches. We're pulling out our long sleeved shirts and sweaters to play outside. If I could, I'd want this season to never end.

With the change of the season brings some sadness. It's this time of the year that my mom and I would start baking goodies for neighbors and family. Since my mom is in Tennessee, it's a little hard to do. Sure, I can make sugar cookies and brownies just like she can, but I'm afraid once I take a bite of those soft cookies with cream cheese frosting, it'll make me miss my parents more.

My grandparents are back in the state from their caravan. It's nice to have them home. I wish they'd stop traveling and settle down at home, though. I know they've waited their whole lives to travel and do what they're doing, but they're also missing out on a lot. They haven't been to one of their grand children's weddings. I think the only baby blessings they've attended was Mia's and my nieces'. I tease my grandma all the time that they're just waiting for me to get married to come home for good.

Speaking of relationships, I have none. Wow, that was simple, eh?

I'm not really ready to start anything with anyone right now. I'm not ready to worry about someone else's problems along with my own. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm only 23. I've got the rest of my life to be with someone. Sure, I'm envious of my sister and my friends who are happily married with kids. Maybe I'll start looking next year. Who knows?

Well, that about wraps up everything for now. I'll leave you with some new pictures of Mia. She's growing up too fast.

(Mia dressing up in a Tinker Bell dress)

(What the?! How'd Rob get on here? Anyhoo... )

(At the ER after she dislocated her left elbow.

I don't know who was more traumatized, me or her.

All's well that ends well, yeah?)

Rat

2009-07-21T06:41:00.003-06:00

About a month ago, Mia became interested in make up and watching me apply it. She'd sit on the closed toilet and pretend to put "pretties" on her face with one of my bigger brushes. Sometimes I'd put light blush on her cheeks to make her feel like she had "Mama's pretties" on, too.

One morning, as I was reaching into my make up bag, I noticed a spoon in it. I had no idea why a spoon was in my make up bag. After rummaging through the bag, I realized I couldn't find my blush. I must've taken it out and put it somewhere else. No worries.

About a week later I was drying myself off after a shower and wanted to put some lotion on. I usually keep my lotion next to my bed where I can put it on before I go to sleep, but it wasn't there. A little red shoe was there instead. I thought to myself, 'The spoon in my make up bag and now a shoe where my lotion should be?' I must have a thief.

I was changing my clothes in my room when Mia walked in with her teddy bear. She smiled at me, looked around my room and walked to my dresser. She stood on her toes, grabbed my necklace, put her bear where the necklace was originally, and walked out of my room. I followed her to her room and asked what she was doing. She squealed and ran in her closet and tried to shut the door. I waited a minute before opening the door. When I opened it, she was standing over a box of clothes. On top of the clothes was my blush, my lotion and my necklace. Again, I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Mama's pretties" with a huge grin on her face. I walked back to my bathroom, grabbed the spoon, the shoe and the bear and offered it to her for my belongings. She wasn't having it. She said, "NO!" and tried to shut her door again. I would've been fine with letting her hold on to the items, but she tends to do bad things with them. Like trying to stick the small end of the necklace in the plug socket, or lick the lotion off her hand, or put blush on the walls. I waited until she walked upstairs to snag my things back. I now shut my bathroom and bedroom doors when I'm not in there, and watch the sneaky little rat when she decides to visit when I'm applying make up or getting dressed.

Pros and Cons

2009-07-20T20:24:00.002-06:00

The other day I was thinking about marriage and some qualities that I would want in a husband. As women, we always talk about what we want, what we're attracted to and what our future boyfriends or husbands should or shouldn't do in a relationship or marriage. It got me thinking about what I would bring into a marriage, if and when I get married someday. I'm not a perfect person and am, in fact, far from it. I have my flaws, my quirks and things that flat out piss me off. I've compiled a list of pros and cons.

Pros are the things I would be good at in a relationship.

Cons are the not so great things that ~~the guy is just going to have to deal with~~ I do.

Pro:

I can cook.

We're not talking about a box of Hamburger Helper, or Easy Mac that you pop into the microwave. No, I can cook a damn good meal from appetizers to dessert (yes, I bake, too).

This is probably why my ass and thighs are the size they are. I'm working on it. *Praise Turbo Jam and Buns of Steel circa 1987*

Con:

I hate dishes.

I think I hate everything there is to cleaning the kitchen in general. I'm not a lazy person, I just cannot stand doing dishes or sweeping and mopping the floor.

ALSO?! Do not EVER ask me to clean out the food trap in the sink or at the bottom of the dishwasher. Hell to the NO. I can't even be in the same room when anyone sticks their hands down there to scoop up the soggy food. Ugh. It's making me nauseous just thinking about it.

Pro:

I'm excellent at doing the laundry. Want me to Spray 'n Wash those socks for you? Sure! I'll separate, bleach, wash and dry those suckers. I'm also great at picking out yummy smelling fabric softener (Snuggle in Blue Sparkle is seriously the best smelling fabric softener)

Con:

I hate putting clothes away. It's just the clothes part, though.

{I'm a wicked towel-folder}

I'd rather throw all my freshly washed clothes into a wicker basket and flop it in the corner of my room than spend the 10 minutes it takes to fold and hang my clothes.

Pro:

I'm flexible. If you cancel the dinner date to stay in and watch a movie, I'm completely fine with it. You just better have a good back up plan.

Con:

If someone blows something off (a broken promise) I will hold a grudge and it's not easy to make that up. That may sound terrible, but if I get all dressed up to go out to a nice restaurant that I've probably been looking forward to all week and you blow me off, don't act like I'm the bitch by holding the grudge, mmkay?

Pro:

I'm easy going.

Seriously. With everyone. I'm the type of person that people feel comfortable around.

I have people, that I've only known maybe a week, come up to me and let me in on little personal secrets or problems that they're having.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a "Free Advice" sign around my neck.

Con:

I'm a woman and I get moody, especially around that special time of the month when all women should be cast off the island to do their "thing" in peace, away from the annoying opposite sex.

If I say I feel like crap and I look like crap and I'm wearing crap and my hair is crap, I probably mean it.

Sorry babe, but even your little innocent voice that is trying to get on my good side is just annoying the crap out of me and I don't want to be talked to right now.

I'll probably hurt your feelings and ask for forgiveness in a day or two, but don't get too offended. I can't help it.

Pro:

I'm a monogamist. I feel that, if and when I find the right guy, I will be with him forever.

You know how penguins mate for life? Yeah, I want that. I can see myself with someone forever who will raise kids with me, support each other in our careers, uplift each other spiritually and love each other unconditionally. I really want that someday.

I'm not stupid or naive when it comes to relationships and marriage.

People change.

People grow apart.

People have new goals and sometimes they don't include the person they married.

I get it.

I don't want to look back in ten or twenty years and tell my daughter that I didn't get married or have a lasting relationship because I was too set in my ways or picky. I believe you can be picky with the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, but you have to be flexible.

Birthday Party Wrap Up

2009-07-18T20:15:00.003-06:00

Well, we did it.

The girl's birthday party came and went.

I'm tired and hot and I would love nothing more than to sit in a nice cool bath.

The turn out wasn't so grand, but I think everything came together pretty great.

The girls got some cute outfits, sand toys, coloring books and bubbles.

Mia's dad brought the cake and helped me bbq the burgers.

(I secretly think he is so willingly to stand outside in the 100 degree weather, over a smokin' hot grill, so he doesn't have to socialize with my friends and family)

Thank goodness I've got Monday off.

I think I need Sunday and Monday to recoup from the stress building up to this event.

Here's to the next year with Thing One and Thing Two!

Birthday Wishlist {for Mia}

2009-07-15T06:32:00.011-06:00

I wish I had a few hundred dollars to spend on Mia for her birthday tomorrow.

I know that throwing the birthday party is pretty big, but by doing that, I can't really afford presents, you know?

If I had that kind of money, these are just a few things I'd get for her:

Elmo's Favorite Sing-Alongs

Mia loves to dance and it's hilarious to watch her do it

AND she loves Elmo

Floral-Print Jersey Sundress

She is SUCH a girly-girl with her purses and baby dolls and dresses

I love these because they're so light and comfortable for her to run around in

(Plus, they're easy to wash and cheap if they get ruined)

Toddler Princess Light-Up Flip-Flop

Nicole and I took the girls out last week for some retail therapy and dinner

We stopped at Payless on our way home and tried on shoes.

While we were there, Mia and Alisi ran up and down the aisles, acting like wild girls while Sani crawled around trying to gnaw on shoes

Mia spotted these shoes and LOVED them

Not entirely sure if it's because they light up or if it's because they're pink, but she loved them. She tried them on and, instead of putting the sandal in between her first and second toe like normal flip flops are worn, she insisted on putting it between her third and fourth toe

I had to pry the shoes away from her and her bread-loaf sized flippers while she cried, but there's no way I'm spending $17.99 on shoes she'll grow out of in 6 months

Little Miss Flyer

We have a few riding toys that my mom has given us for the daycare, but they're pretty beat up and a little too big for Mia

This cute (and girly) trike is SO cute and is something that she's have a blast learning to ride

Play purse

Okay, Mia got a really cute purse for Christmas that laughs and sings with really cute things in it
This NEW purse has a CELL PHONE
Mia LOVES cell phones, and her auntie hates it
Nicole has gone through a few cell phones in the past 6 months because she ~~leaves them sitting around where little fingers can grab them and throw them in the toilet~~ is picky about what type of cell phone she uses, and Mia is usually the one who ~~throws it down or gets sticky gunk all over it~~ hands it to her nicely
Yay for new phones!

BOOKS

Mia loves to look at books and likes to be read to

Of course, she's just like any toddler where she gets impatient and flips through the pages to the ones that are her favorite (usually the ones with pictures of animals where she can imitate their sound)

I love these pop up books because they're so colorful and they keep her attention

We have a few pop up books that have been ripped apart because they get so excited to open the next page to see what pops up

I know I material things aren't how you show anyone love, but it's fun to get new toys and clothes for your birthday. I'm sure she knows how much I love her already.

Ready... Set... Party!

2009-07-13T06:16:00.003-06:00

It's about that time again. Mia will be turning two in a few days and we're throwing another combined birthday party for her and Alisi. This year we've decided to wait until it was closer to Mia's birthday to throw it. Alisi has been two for about a month now, and things haven't really changed. I think the terrible two's gradually hit around 18 months, or at least that's when it did for Mia and Alisi. Some close friends of mine keep telling me that if I think two is bad, wait until they hit three. If three is worse than two, I might be putting a toddler up for sale. Place your bids now, people!

This week will probably be filled with stress and chaos as we get ready for everyone to come over for the birthday party on Saturday. Not only do we have the inside of the house to worry about cleaning, we've got a jungle of a backyard to try to weed-whack out. We live on a lot and a half and absolutely nothing has been done to the backyard. It's pretty uneven and has railroad ties that hold up a portion of the different levels. If I could afford it, I'd hire someone with a backhoe to level it out and put in sod, but seeing as I don't have a few grand laying around (trust me, I've looked) I'm going to have to do it myself.

A few things I've got to do to get ready for the party:

Get a head count of everyone that's going to be there. I love how you send out email invitations and people reply that they might or might not come. Don't people RSVP anymore?

Clean every room in the house including (but not limited to): the laundry room, my bedroom, the daycare room and all three bathrooms (yes, the one in Nicole's room, too). The majority of people coming over haven't experienced the "grand tour" of the house, so they're going to want to see every room. Note to self, make sure ALL drawers are shut in your bedroom. Nosey people.

Price and purchase inexpensive decorations. We did a few balloons last year along with some matching table clothes that worked just fine. I think the balloons were a little pricey, though. If anyone knows of a good party store in Salt Lake, let me know!

Make sure that Mia's dad follows through with buying the cake. I know the guy means well, but seriously, when he says he's going to do something I have to constantly remind him to find time to actually follow through with it.

Don't freak out on Nicole. We're doing this together and we both know I'm a little obsessive when it comes to throwing things like this together. I freak out over the tiniest issue. This year, I'm not going to freak. Promise.

Breathe. I know that, come Saturday morning, I will have experienced a few stress migraines. We're having a low-key barbecue and party for the girls. The Queen of England isn't coming (and neither is my mother), so I just need to chill. Can anyone spare an extra Xanax? How about a bottle of Vodka? Raspberry flavored, please.

Hopefully things flow seamlessly this week leading up to the big day. I'll be sure to post some pics of the party after. Wish me luck!

June 19th

2009-06-19T20:46:00.004-06:00

I can't believe it's already halfway through the year. Is it just me, or has this year gone by way too fast?

I haven't really had much to write about in the last little bit. Work, family and home is about all I ever do.

Family: We've had some ups and downs with Nicole and her husband, but things are okay. I think Nicole and I are at a point in our lives where we're okay to be on our own, but together. I feel that I'm more secure and safe when I'm with her and her girls. We've got a big house and lots of bills to pay, but we're taking one day at a time.

Mia, Alisi and Sani are growing up fast. Sani is crawling around the house and yelling at the dog. Alisi is a chatterbox and is bossy as ever. Mia is just observant. I think she's going to be a very smart little girl when she gets older because she watches everyone so closely. We celebrated Alisi's two year birthday at the beginning of the month. I can't believe these girls are two. Mia's birthday is in a few weeks and Sani will be one in a little over a month. Mia's started to throw temper tantrums and is testing my patience every day. She throws herself on the floor, kicks her feet and holds her breath. I know she's just testing her independence and she's frustrated that she can't communicate efficiently with me, but this has got to stop.

Work: I'm very content to be at work and I actually look forward to it. This may have something to do with someone there. A friend of mine and I have kind of started dating. I really don't want to say too much about it because it's so new and I'm so superstitious about talking about things that haven't happened yet. I will say that I'm happy, and it feels good to smile and look forward to things again.

On a happier note

2009-05-25T21:09:00.013-06:00

Rereading my blog entries for the past month or so has been a really depressing thing for me. I'm sick of this depressing crap. I need some happiness. When I think of happiness, I think of Mia. So this entry is going to be about her and the happiness she brings me.

I love this little girl with every fiber of my being.

She is the reason I get up in the morning whether it be to get up for work, or to get her out of bed on a Saturday morning to make breakfast for her.

With one little smile she can melt my heart. With one of her mischievous looks I know she's into something.

She's grown up so fast. Some days I wish she were the little baby I brought home from the hospital.

Or that quiet little baby, who smiled at anyone she saw.

Or that bald toddler at her first birthday in her party dress.

I'm so thankful that you came into my life when you did. You make me a better person, just being you. Some days (most days) you are a challenge and you constantly test my patience.

But I wouldn't trade you for anything.

I love you, baby.

Love Mama

April showers bring May flowers

2009-04-29T20:55:00.002-06:00

Update time!

Things are well. Just working and enjoying life. Nothing major is happening anytime soon, so I set little things up during the week to look forward to. Sometimes if I can't think of anything to look forward to, there's always the weekend. I've started to change things around. Change is good, right? I know it sounds insignificant, but I found a new way to drive to work. It's less congested and I get to see all the spring flowers in bloom. It's more relaxing than taking the freeway with ornery people trying to drink their coffee while driving 65 mph.

I'm trying to be more optimistic at work. People are always going to be ornery when you deal with their money, but I find that if I'm in a good mood and I'm willing to help, people are more pleasant on the phone and easier to deal with. I stress about money and finances, but somehow at the first of the month when bills and rent is due, things fall into place.

I took Mia to our new ward two Sundays ago. She went to nursery for the first time! I was a little hesitant to leave her, but as soon as I set her down she walked past me to explore the toys. She stayed for two hours and did great. When I went to pick her up, she was blowing bubbles with the nursery teacher, her shoes in the middle of the floor. She was so excited to show me her picture she colored of two little kids. I'm so happy that she enjoys church. I felt like getting back into church because I felt empty, like something was missing. I haven't been to church in quite a while and since we're in a new area, I thought that this could be a new start to things. So far, we've only been once. Last weekend Mia was sick with some kind of flu bug. She couldn't keep anything down and just wanted to lay on me while watching Barney. It only lasted about 24 hours and she's feeling much better now. I was a little worried with all of this Swine Flu epidemic going on, but she's back to her old, terrible-two self.

I find that I'm okay. I'm more emotional lately than normal, but other than that, I think I'm really okay. I'm happy and content with my life right now. I appreciate all the well wishes from everyone.

100 Things

2009-04-08T17:58:00.004-06:00

One of my very good friends told me to write a list of 100 positive things about myself to make me happy, or something. It's taken me most of the afternoon and I'm sure a few of these things are not positive, but that's me. So, here goes. 100 things about me:

I am in love with my daughter. She is the sunshine in my life.
When something funny happens, I always have to tell someone. Doesn’t matter if I’m driving on the freeway and I see something and no one is with me, I have to pick up my phone and call someone to share it with.
I relate specific songs with people. If I know you, there’s a song out there that describes you, maybe even multiple songs.
I very much enjoy reruns of Grey’s Anatomy, The Office and Will and Grace.
I believe I am the greatest Auntie-Mama in the world to Alisi and Sani.
I am full of useless and random facts.
I love cloudy, windy days with no sunshine.
I miss being pregnant, even though I was only aware of it for 3 weeks.
My favorite smell is Sheer Freesia. It makes me mad that Bath and Body Works doesn’t include it in their “Classic” collection.
I take pride in my teeth. I spent four years in braces, I should be able to flaunt ‘em.
I could spend hours at the City Library in Salt Lake just watching people.
Although I’m terrible with confrontation in person, I’m great at it on the phone at work. The adrenaline of arguing with people gives me a rush.
There is no where I would rather be than to lay in bed on a Saturday morning with Mia right before she fully wakes up.
I have very big feet and am very embarrassed about it.
Same goes with the size of my rings.
I love nail polish.
I truly cherish my friends.
I enjoy doing people’s hair.
I get really happy when I receive emails from real people.
I’m a thrifty shopper.
I would rather spend money on others rather than on me.
I don’t accept compliments well.
I miss my step dad.
I could live off of cereal.
Water gives me heartburn.
I love wearing nylons… for about 10 minutes. Then they get itchy and my feet get hot.
I can’t get through the day without looking at PerezHilton.com at least 10 times.
I am obsessed with Carmel Frappuccinos from Starbucks. I’ve tried Beans and Brew’s knock off frappuccinos and they’re just not the same.
I dislike coffee.
I only trust two people with everything in my life. They know who they are.
If I tell myself I’m sick in the morning, by the end of the day I will be sick.
I have to wear socks when I go to bed.
I very much dislike loud noises.
I’ve read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn 3 times in their entirety. New Moon is my favorite. I still read parts of it before I go to bed.
I have huge ambitions, but I don’t have the drive to go after those ambitions.
I’m always tired.
I love flowers, but I don’t like to buy them because they’ll just die in a few days.
House plants commit suicide when under my watch.
I hate the word Actually because it sounds too much like my name.
I love getting my nails done every two weeks. It’s like a mini therapy session where I can vent to my un-biased nail tech about anything.
I very much want to go back to college, but I don’t know what to go for.
I love brand new lip gloss. Once it’s no longer “new”, I don’t like it anymore.
I enjoy camping.
I have a very wide range of music that I enjoy. None of which includes rap.
Even though I come across as though I’ve got it together, inside I am very scared and feel like I’m going to fall apart at any moment.
I wish I could read people’s minds.
I love pearls.
Black is one of my favorite colors.
I hate pink, but only on me.
I am in denial.
I love grapefruit
Fashion magazines make me mad.
My favorite comfort item is a quilt that my grandma made for my dad. I own it.
I hate when movies end.
I sometimes miss high school, but only the schedule.
I love the rain. The more thunder and lightening, the better.
I used to paint and I really miss it.
Same with playing the viola.
I use the word Seriously a lot. Seriously.
At home is my favorite place to be.
I like Wednesdays.
I hate, hate, hate laundry.
I wish I knew how to dance.
Every few months I get the urge to chop off my hair really short. It seems like once a year I give into this urge and do it.
I regret cutting my hair every time.
If I could wear flip flops every day, I would.
I’ve only had one speeding ticket in my life.
I’m not superstitious.
I like to drive my car.
The elevators at my work scare me. I got stuck in one for five minutes and I had a panic attack.
I love new pajamas.
I like to sing.
I like frozen strawberry margaritas.
Disney cartoons are my favorite.
I will never wear light blue, orange or yellow. Ever.
I enjoy vacuuming.
The weirdest thing I’ve ever eaten was cow tongue.
I miss working in the therapy department at the care center, even though I complained about it every day.
I sometimes wonder what I’d look like as a blonde, but would never do it.
I’ve never been on a public bus or rode in a taxi cab.
I say that I hate my sister and brother-in-law’s dog, but I kind of like her. A little bit.
I hate scary movies.
I hate to be scared, period.
With that said, Halloween is my least favorite holiday.
I have a hard time trusting people.
Baby dolls creep me out.
I don’t have a problem with bugs.
There is nothing sweeter than watching Mia and Alisi give each other kisses and hugs.
Other than cereal, I’m not a fan of breakfast foods.
I believe in soul mates.
I wonder where I’ll be in ten years.
I’ve never sat through an entire baseball game.
I wish my handwriting was neater.
I think I’m a good mom.
I always un-tuck my blankets and sheets before I go to bed.
It has to be cool in my room in order for me to sleep.
I’m a bad influence.
I like my job.
I am constantly picking on something.
I can’t believe I made it to 100!

March

2009-03-22T19:25:00.004-06:00

I guess it's time to give my blog a little love and post an update.

Work: Work is good. I've started my permanent position and am just waiting for more training to begin. I've had a run in with a "senior" coworker who is intimidating as shit. Whatever. I'm keeping to myself and enjoying my other coworkers. I'm thankful I've got a job with today's economy, though.

Family: They're good. I guess my mom is moving back to Tennessee in May with my dad and Matthew. We'll see how that goes come May. Nicole and Siaosi are doing well with their girls. Mia's great. She's going through the terrible two's stage at 21 months. She throws temper tantrums, talks back in her own language, says "No" and is now trying to hit me when she doesn't get her way. I usually walk away from her when she's throwing a fit just to show her that I'm not going to put up with it. I can't believe she's almost two.

Relationships: I'm in the same place. Mia's dad and I are still seeing each other. It's a weird place to be. We're not technically "in a relationship", but everything is there with the exception of the title. Everyone who knows the situation is constantly trying to define our relationship status. I'm happy just spending time with him and am enjoying it. Do I wish it were more stable? More than anything. Am I afraid that when he leaves my side that he won't come back like he's done so many times in the past? Absolutely. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Because I hope that he has sincerely changed this time. Not only am I involved in this sticky, tangled web, our daughter is in it, too. She will be devastated if he leaves and doesn't come back. But what do I do? Do we continue what we're doing, or do I break all connections and let the legal system come into play with visitations and forced child support? What a mess.

Life in General: It's good, I guess, depending on what day you ask. In all honesty, life is good. Crazy and hectic and financially unstable, but it's life. I have my family, health and close friends that I love dearly.

I need a hot bath

2009-02-27T21:39:00.004-07:00

We did it! We're officially in our new house. Okay, so it's not technically new, but new enough to us. There are a lot of things that need to be repaired, repainted, glued and fixed in this place. It's just nice to finally be out of my mom's. I told Nicole today while sitting on the couch that this house doesn't feel like I live here, or that it's partly mine. I feel like I'm a visitor and that I should be going home anytime now. Maybe it's just a weird thing that will pass. Sheesh, I hope so! My feet and back and hands hurt from packing and moving all of our stuff. I was going to unpack more stuff tonight in my room and bathroom, but I don't think I will. I rented a RedBox movie and I think I'm going to relax tonight and finish things up tomorrow.
Nate and I went to Lindsey's reception last night. It was beautiful. Lindsey looked gorgeous and Jeff was glowing with pride as he looked at his new bride. I'm so proud of her for going through the temple and actually getting married! She's a lucky girl. One day I might be so lucky. Until then, keep reading. Ha!

25 random things about me

2009-02-05T16:30:00.003-07:00

A friend of mine on Facebook tagged me with this stupid thing. You are supposed to write 25 random things, pet peeves, facts, habits or goals about yourself

1. I get extremely annoyed at people who don't text me back within 1-5 minutes. It's infuriating to me to have to wait for an answer.

2. I'm very impatient and absolutely hate the words maybe, possibly, perhaps and soon.

3. When I get an email from someone at work or home in all capital letters, it scares the bejeezus out of me.

4. I am notorious for starting something and not following through with it. For example: weight loss, painting, writing, cleaning, movies (this makes my family so mad) and board games.

5. I love to cook. Anything and everything. When I've got all of the ingredients to make a gourmet meal I get all warm and fuzzy inside.

6. I'm really good at doing hair. Coloring, cutting and styling. I'm constantly dying my mom and sister's hair different colors; usually more than one color at a time. I used to do my friend's hair in high school for proms and dances.

7. I am addicted to Coke. Seriously. I cannot stop drinking it. I've tried so many times to quit, but I can't.

8. I'm a chocoholic. I love all kinds of chocolate at any time of the day.

9. I'm a terrible blogger. I go weeks in between updating my blog. Ultimate fail, I know.

10. I get extremely embarrassed whenever someone talks about sexual things. I know I'm an adult and I shouldn't be so juvenile, but I can't help turning red when someone makes a sexual reference.

11. I am in love with Robert Pattinson. And no, it's not because of Twilight. I was a fan before he was Edward Cullen.

12. I absolutely cannot speak to anyone in the morning without brushing my teeth first. No thank you.

13. I have a potty mouth. I need to stop because Alisi and Mia are starting to pick up everything we say.

14. I sing really loud in my car when I'm alone, but I stop when I know someone is looking at me in a car next to me. If they give me a funny look, I'll grab my phone and pretend like I was talking on it instead of singing.

15. I hate shopping for clothes with a passion. Nothing fits right and it just pisses me off. I just end up buying a greasy hamburger on my way home to drown my sorrows in.

16. I'm afraid that I will never get married. If I lived anywhere other than Utah, everyone would tell me that I'm still very young, but I do live in Utah and all of my friends are married, getting married or in a serious relationship heading towards marriage.

17. I am the whitest person I know. My legs are so white, they're almost translucent and they repel the sun. No joke.

18. I think men who wear glasses are sexy. Sunglasses or regular glasses. I'm not prejudiced. HA!

19. I hate when people don't use correct grammar or punctuation while texting. Seriously, how long does it take to use a freakin' period?!

20. I refuse to step on a scale, even at the doctor's office. I tell them that if I step on the scale, I'll break it or I'll come down with some sort of incurable hives. The nurse usually rolls her eyes and asks what I think I weigh. I'll tell her my weight from the last time I was forced onto a scale.

21. I love the way Mia smells. Even if she is covered in spaghetti and is in need of a bath I still love her smell. I wish I could bottle it and keep it forever, so when I'm old and gray I can open it and remember what she smelled like when she was a baby.

22. I won't eat canned peas. Disgusting things.

23. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. To some people, I wear my emotions on my face. It's pathetic at how people close to me can read me so well. Infuriating really.

24. I'm too forgiving. It's good in some instances, but it usually gets me hurt. I'm working on it.

25. I can't go to bed without reading. I have to read something whether it be a book I've read a million times, a magazine or a children's book.

Now it's your turn! What are 25 random things about you?

I'm still here. In case you were worried.

2009-01-09T15:35:00.002-07:00

My blog has hit an all time low. It's been a month and a whole day since I've posted. For all of my readers (both of them), I'm still alive. I'll update in a while.

Tulips

2008-04-30T13:49:00.005-06:00

The tulips are in full bloom now. My mother informed me that it's supposed to snow today and tomorrow. Great. So much for beautiful tulips. Thanks, Utah. Your weather rocks.

When you're the best of friends

2008-05-01T11:04:00.005-06:00

Now that the girls are crawling and standing and getting under everyone's feet, they've become the best of friends. They do everything together; play, eat, bathe and go for walks in the double stroller with Nicole and I. Of course, they do things on their own too. But when one of the girls go down for a nap, the other gets bored quick. We have so much fun watching these girls learn new things. They've learned that standing by the dishwasher is lots of fun especially when Mom or Auntie gets mad for taking tupperwear or cups out of the bottom rack. They've learned that there are two babies looking back at them from the reflection of the shiny door on the oven. They've learned that it's super fun to stand at the back glass doors to look at silly Roxy or grandpa Mitchell working in the yard. They've learned to make Mom and Auntie make scared noises when they crawl really close to the stairs. They've learned to dance completely opposite of one another. They've learned that their favorite show is Little Einsteins. And they've learned that the cousin holding the toy in their hand is way cooler than the one in their own. Good thing they've learned how to 'trade'.

Growing up

2008-05-12T14:11:00.004-06:00

For the past 21 and a half years I have had my mom to watch out for me; to pay my bills, keep a roof over my head and food in my stomach. As I watched the Uhaul and red Suzuki pull away from our house this afternoon I realized that I am now officially a "grown-up" and on my own. Technically my sister, her husband and baby live with Mia and I but still, we are alone. No parents to tell us to clean our rooms or put our dishes in the sink (thank God we were taught to be civilized people and not pigs)!

We said our goodbyes to our parents, little bro and Dusty the Shi Tzu and cried a little on the inside. Okay, Nicole cried on the outside but we're blaming that on pregnancy hormones. They're not just moving a city away. Chattanooga Tennessee is far. The drive is 3 days and to fly it's a good 8 hours depending on the flight.

I'm going to miss my family a lot. I'm going to miss Duane and our conversations about current events or historical facts over changing brake pads in my car. I'm going to miss Matthew and his animal facts. I'm going to miss Dusty snuggling so close to me he's practically sitting under my leg while I watch tv. I'm going to miss my mom the most. Even though we fight and have our stupid disagreements, she is my best friend. I don't tell her this often enough but I love her. I love her so much. I don't think I could get through life this far without her. Even as I type this I'm crying. I know that I'll talk to her everyday and update her on what Mia's newest funny quirk is. It's going to take a little while for me to adjust to living on my own and not having the other half of my family here. I guess that's what instant messaging, airplanes and cell phones are for; to keep in touch with the ones you love.

Month 10

2008-05-21T13:22:00.005-06:00

Mia,

Let me start by saying you are one silly little girl. This month you have started to make the funniest faces. My favorite is when you scrunch up your mouth to a tiny O and say, "Oh". We laugh at your silly face and you continue to do it. You've started to stand more! I'll be in the kitchen and you come crawling at super speed, grab onto my pant leg and pull yourself up. You've begun to hold onto the couch and walk around it. I watch you sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up. I sometimes wonder if that's why diapers are so greatly padded so you don't hurt your bum when you fall.

Grandma and Grandpa Mitchell, Matt and Dusty moved out this month. They moved to Tennessee and you and Alisi are having a difficult time with this. You don't understand what's going on and where the people that you love the most have gone. The morning after they left, you crawled to Matt's room and sat in the doorway looking around. You looked at me as if to say, "Where are they?". You've given up falling asleep on your own. I have to rock you for a very long time singing lullabys to you until you fall asleep in order for you to sleep. It's getting a little easier though.

Last night you and Alisi were eating cheese cubes in the front room. I wasn't feeding you fast enough for your liking and you got impatient. You put your fingers in Alisi's mouth to get her cheese and she chomped down. You had the most shocked look on your face. It took you a minute to realize what she had done. Of course you cried and needed to be comforted and calmed down. After that you looked at Alisi like she was the meanest person in the whole world. Then Nicole and I stripped you and Lisi down for a bath and the previous incident was forgotten. It was a race to the tub!

You love, love, LOVE ice cream and popsicles. Unfortunatly for you, your tummy doesn't do well with ice cream. For some reason your little body doesn't do well with certain dairy products. Good thing popsicles aren't made with milk! You'll finish off a Twin Pop in 5 minutes and get upset when it's all gone. I really think this has something to do with the fact that I ate nothing but Pink Lemonade Snowies during my pregnancy with you.

Until next month,

I love you.

Mama

Absofuckinglutley

2008-05-31T16:20:00.003-06:00

Last night at 10:05 with my large bucket of popcorn and Coke I braced myself for something I had been waiting for these last four years; Sex and the City, the movie!

I really don't want to spoil it for anyone who wants to see it but it was fabulous! Everything I expected it to be. It tied up all the loose ends from the last episode of the series and brought some great new things to the table. Even if you think Sarah Jessica Parker's face looks like a foot or her mole drives you nuts, the movie was great. Need a someone to tag along? What's that, you want me to come with you? Absofuckinglutley : )

Happy Birthday Chub-Chub

2008-06-08T22:17:00.006-06:00

Dear Alice,

Today you turned one and I can't believe it. I am shocked that you are now 12 months old. One year ago today you were brought into this crazy chaotic world by two inexperienced people who love you very, very much.

This past year you have blossomed into a beautiful, brown-eyed, tan skinned little person.

You have brought joy to so many people that came into your life. I'm sure your Mama has so much to write about you so I'm going to keep this short. I like to think that God had his hand in making you the way you are today.

You're silly and sweet and fun to be around. I'm so glad that you are here for Mia. You're going to make a great big sister when Sani comes. I can't wait to see what the next 12 months bring for you. This is only the beginning. I love you Lisi!

Love, Auntie Ash

Conversation with a three year old

2008-06-12T10:27:00.003-06:00

Me: Miss Allie you know when you come into the daycare room you take off your shoes and put them in your cubby.

Allie: I can't.

Me: Do you need help?

Allie: No.

Me: Please take them off.

Allie: I can't.

Me: Why?

Allie: Because my puppy lives in there.

Me: Your puppy lives in your shoes?

Allie: Yes.

Me: Can you ask them to live in your shoe in your cubby?

Allie: No. They don't like the dark.

Me: Huh?

Allie: (Seeing the twins taking off their shoes) Puppy, I know it's dark but in there but you have to go in the cubby now. (Bending down to speak to her shoes) I love you and I'll see you in a minute.

Me: Wow.

Birthday Update

2008-06-15T20:43:00.009-06:00

This weekend has been fantastic! The girl's birthday party turned out great. There were lots of friends and family here that ate, visited and generally had a good time. I'd say more about it but I'm seriously exhausted. Alcohol, no sleep (although self inflicted), and birthday fun is draining my body. Here are some pictures of the party. Thanks to everyone that helped out and came!

Hand airbrushed banners and tinkerbell jump house.

Mia and me.

Alisi and Nicole

Mia's dad manning the grill. I'm still shocked.

Blowing out candles and sneaking some frosting.

Cake!

Oh boy.

Month 11

2008-06-16T07:48:00.006-06:00

Dear Mia,

Today you turn 11 months old. Holy shit, one more month and you are going to be a full year old. Sure we celebrated it early this year but I don't think it even phased you what the party last Saturday meant. Nicole and I decided to throw you and Alisi a combined birthday party because 1- We (you and I) really don't have any family who lives here anymore and 2- it'd be fun to throw the first birthday party together.

This month you have prefected walking. You walk everywhere! Yes, you still stumble a little but you get right back up and walk away. Sometimes, though, you get very stubborn or tired or upset and you don't want to walk. You throw your little body on the floor and look at me like you want me to pick you up and carry you. No way, babe. You're walking now; you get to where you want to go.

Your dad came back into your life. If only for a brief moment, I'm not sure. I want you to know now that I will never speak badly of your dad. I want you to form your own opinion of him as you grow up. I apologize on his behalf for being absent these past four and a half months. I know in his heart that he is a great father who will always love you. When he came over a few weeks ago to play with you, you weren't having it. You cried and screamed when I tried to hand you to him. You got down from my lap and played with the toys with him but you always had to see me. I know it hurt him to see you cry and not want to hug him or let him hold you. But honestly, how could you let this stranger be near you? You didn't know who he was. Your dad came to help with the birthday party this weekend and you were 100% better. You let him hold you, play with you, tickle you and kiss you. I had him watch you while I went to shower on Saturday and when I was done and was about to walk into my room, I saw the two of you on my bed laughing. I had to stand in the doorway for a moment to compose myself. It was one of the sweetest things I had ever seen. After the birthday party on Saturday, you were exhausted. Your dad sat with you on the rocking chair while I uploaded pictures from my camera to the computer. When I turned around, you were asleep on your dad's chest.

This month your personality has began to develop more and more. You are a kindhearted little girl and you share everything that you have. You're silly and curious and sweet. I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl to share my life with.

Until next month, I love you.

Mama

Splish Splash

2008-06-17T17:02:00.002-06:00

Nicole and I took the girls outside today with the daycare kids to play in the water table and eat Popsicles. It was so hot! Nicole and I blew up the girls baby frog pool (all the while cracking 'that's what she said' jokes) and tried to get the girls in. Mia loved it but Alisi wasn't having it. I think this is a good sign considering I'd like to take Mia to the public pool soon and sometimes the water isn't on the warm side. The girls had fun and splashed water all over us. My cheeks still hurt from blowing so hard. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!

Camping 08

2008-07-14T10:57:00.010-06:00

This past weekend we (me, Nicole, her husband, Siaosi and Nate, Mia's dad) took the girls up to East Canyon for a little camping trip. We left on Friday and got back yesterday morning. This is how it played out...

Friday- I took Friday off so I could get everything packed and ready to go with Nicole and Siaosi as they were leaving before Nate and I. Nicole and I ran around the house packing food and things we forgot in our bags. After they left around noon, I made sure everything was shut off, unplugged and locked. I set out Satan's (Nicole and Siaosi's husky-pit bull mix dog, Roxy) food, treats and water bowl for Lindsey. She had so graciously agreed to feed and water her while we were gone. When we got home there was a note on the counter saying that Satan had been a good dog and only bit her face off once but luckily for Linds, faces grow back. Job well done, Linds!
Nate showed up around 6 to pick Mia and me up. We were supposed to leave around 5:00 but traffic was horrendous to my house and he got off work a little later than usual. We stopped at the store for some last minute things and we were off! On the way up, crammed in his little Mazda 3, Mia kept looking from him to me in her car seat (that is completely too small for her). I'm not sure what she was thinking or trying to telepathically tell me. The only thing I could see on her face was happiness.

We got to the campsite and let the boys cook dinner. Siaosi was impatient for food since they had been there for hours before us and had only been snacking on junk food. He kept putting his foil-wrapped hobo dinner in the hottest part of the fire. Needless to say, my dinner was burned, as was Siaosi's, Nate's turned out okay and Nicole's was great.

We roasted marshmallows and made s'mores later that night. While we were going back to the picnic table to make our second rounds of s'mores, Siaosi noticed a little scavenger up in the tree. A racoon wanted something to eat. That or the smell of the our garbage bags was appealing to him. Being the mature adult Siaosi is, he threw rocks at the damn critter, but not before we snapped some pictures of him. Not long after that, we cleaned up and we all went to bed.

Saturday- We woke up and had bagels, watermelon and juice for breakfast. Nicole and I had to suck in as much clean air as we could fill our lungs with before heading to the dreaded toilet. Now, I'm not complaining that there was a decent facility near our campsite. I was worried that we were going to squat over bushes infected with red ants or, with my luck, poison oak. The little shack was clean with only little graffiti on the wall for someone claiming to give the best blow jobs in the camp the previous day. The thing that grossed me out the most was having to lift the toilet seat lid and taking a glimpse at what was down there. Ugh.
Siaosi left that morning to Salt Lake for some firewood. Nate was kind enough to bring up enough wood in his little trunk to last the previous night and maybe start a decent fire that morning. While he was gone, Nicole and I taught Nate how to play some of our favorite card games.

The girls played in the playpen near our table until Alisi started getting tired. She layed in the stroller and slept. Mia was content with her Binky and toys she kept chucking out of the playpen.

We made lunch and Siaosi was back shortly after that and then we pulled him into our cuss-word filled game of cards. We talked about funny stories and made fun of each other for hours. We roasted hot dogs that night for dinner and said good night to Nicole and Siaosi. Nate and I stayed up and played blackjack. I thought I'd be smart and weasel some interesting things out of him by suggesting that the loser take a shot of Crown Royal and the winner ask one question that the loser must answer honestly. I suck at blackjack. I got about 2 questions out of him and he got roughly 7 or 8 out of me. Of course, after that much alcohol I needed to use the restroom but I couldn't stand. Nate had to practically carry me to the restroom, hold the flashlight inside the doorway for me (of course there were no lights inside the restroom), and push a sleeping Mia in the stroller down the narrow bumpy path to our tent while dragging my giggling drunk ass behind. Before I passed out on my pillow, I remember reassuring Nate that I had never thrown up from drinking nor had I ever had a hangover the next day. I kept my promise about not throwing up but, oh fuck, did I have a hangover the next day!
Sunday- After forcing myself out of the tent, I tried to make myself throw up thinking that I'd feel better. Nope. I can't force myself to throw up; it's near impossible. I'd make a terrible bulimic. Nate got Mia out of the tent and changed her diaper while I was trying to get my head to stop spinning while sitting at the picnic table. The boys packed up camp while Nicole and I (well, more Nicole than me) got the bagels ready for breakfast. Nicole and Nate thought it was hilarious to make me wince in pain when anything noisy would clang together. Like the two liquor bottles Nate kept crashing together. Or the huge poles that Siaosi was throwing on the ground from the awning he was taking apart. We, I mean they, had everything packed in about an hour and we were headed back to Salt Lake for our soft beds, clean toilets (thank God!) and much needed showers. After my shower, I took a huge dose of Tylenol and tried to sleep off my hangover. It worked a little. It wasn't until this morning that I felt 100% like myself.
Things to remember for our next camping trip: Take lots of firewood, be prepared to make friends with annoying flies, put all of your food away before you go to bed unless you want visitors, and don't drink alcohol even if you've never experienced a hangover in your life. There's a first time for everything.