Truthful Tuesday

I've noticed from a few blogs I follow that a certain meme has started to make it's rounds.

I first read it on Jessica's blog. She made some good points about how some of these "truths" are very personal, and that she didn't like to open up that much.

There are 30 things that you're asked to answer and I think you're supposed to answer one per day. I'll be the first to tell you that there is no way that I'm going to be able to put that much dedication into my little blog for the next 30 days.

For the next few Tuesdays I'll answer 5 of the 30 the best I can.

After reading the list (which you can find on Jess's blog) I'm a little leery to answer some.

I'll try my hardest not to beat around the bush and just put it out there.

We'll see how it goes.

1: Something you hate about yourself.

(I just love how it asks "SOMETHING", not "make a very long list of things you hate about yourself".

That would be so much easier.)

I hate that I cannot accept genuine compliments without scoffing it off or making a joke.

I know for a fact that it frustrates a lot of people that I'm close to, who often compliment me, but I can't help it. I don't know how to accept compliments gracefully. I twitch, stutter, laugh it off and eventually say, "thank you".

2: Something you love about yourself.

I love my people skills. I'm a natural when it comes to speaking on the phone to strangers (like at school), or chatting it up with a client at school.

3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I need to eventually forgive myself for holding myself back when I was younger. My self esteem is pretty low, and when I was younger I always wanted to do things, but would talk myself out of it because I was too "something" to achieve it or attempt to accomplish it.

4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

I feel like I need to forgive someone who wasn't ready to be a father.

I pushed and pushed and it made him run the opposite way.

It was a mutual creation (NOT a "mistake"), but because I was in the position I was, I had to accept it and he didn't.

I don't know if I can do it just yet, though.

The wound is constantly ripped open when I'm going through a rough patch by myself.

No, I'm never really alone, per se, but you understand, right?

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, too. But I'm angry because every decision I make affects her, when (in my opinion) he can do whatever he pleases and doesn't have to think about what time he needs to be home to put someone to bed, or go grocery shopping to feed that someone.

It's just too soon.

5: Something you hope to do in your life.

I hope to be able to become pregnant (with a physician's help, of course) and really experience what it is to be pregnant. I was robbed with my first. Ignorance is not always bliss.

I would take every ache, every stretch mark, every kick, morning sickness, swollen ankles and be blissfully happy to be able to know that I could carry something inside of my body, nurture and bond with it and give birth to something I would and could be responsible for.